How to Get a Date

Many times you may end up with your girlfriend without even going on a single date. However if you want to date women, here are a few tips. When you see a girl out at a bar or wherever you may be, first you need to say hello or something. Then hopefully she will follow-up with a hello back. If you can possibly think of a question to ask, then you should try and say it. After she gives an answer, and she may not reply with a question back, then it's your turn to talk again. Then you can notice something she is wearing or any type of compliment. Anything that you may see that stands out you can mention about it and how much you like it. Hopefully then that will break the ice and she will be able to talk better to you.

After you have talked for a bit, then you may consider asking her if she would mind getting to know you better. You can exchange numbers and talk more on the phone and get to know one another and perhaps set up a date when you both have some free time. You may want to meet up at a movie or go out to dinner. When you ask if she wants to go on a date, you can mention a restaurant that you really like, and say that it has great food, would you like to meet up there? If she agrees, then you can ask when would be a good night for her to go to dinner. You can also ask out to a movie, movies are fun too. You can say either, or, some people may feel more comfortable talking on the phone a bit more before they decide they want to meet up together. Some people prefer to not talk on the phone and meet up on a date, however most women I think prefer to talk on the phone more.

So that is what I have to say about getting a date. You just say hello, then you ask a question, then you compliment, and then you ask to exchange numbers and say you'd like to see her again and get to know her. Then when you are out on your date, be nice. It shouldn't be a problem to be nice, if you are already nice. Don't try and be funny. Only be funny if you are naturally funny. If you try to be funny, it will make her think you are not funny.

What is Love?

* Love is telling your wife 'you look great today' everyday.
* Love is saying goodbye before you log off.
* Love is more than saying 'I love you'.
* Love is showing respect.
* Love is smiling at people you see on the street.
* Showing love is the quickest way to get people to love you.
* Love is inviting your neighbor to an activity.
* Love is trying, making mistakes, and learning.

There's nothing wrong with loving other people when you are married, as long as you don't have sex. Love and sex is what every marriage needs, sex is just for marriage, but love goes beyond marriage. Love is unlimited. It's ok to have other people you love when you are married. I think marriages may fail when their love gets limited. I love so many women right now, and I don't see that ever changing. I don't think it's possible for me to just love one. I agree sex is just for my wife, but love? I would hope I can still love others.

Shyness

Recently someone asked me to write a post about overcoming shyness. However I won't do that because I think shyness is a quality. In fact, I wish more people would be more shy. There is an old saying, wisdom is silent. I'm not saying to be completely quiet, but being careful about who you talk with is not a bad thing. Many animals are naturally shy, and same with people.

Being shy doesn't mean you don't talk or ignore people. It simply means you have enough confidence not to be the center of attention, and happy being yourself. It's not true that the more people you talk too, ex., at a bar, the more chances you have of meeting someone. You would have a better chance if you talked to just a couple people. Let's say I am out at a place and I see a girl talking to every guy, and she knows everyone. Well, I don't think I would have a chance, and I probably wouldn't bother.

Also remember that generally people are a lot more shy when they are alone, and a lot less shy when they are around friends. Now, for the sake of the person that asked how to overcome shyness. Well, first you need realize that over talking is not the answer. Just be nice. Say something that makes them feel good. Say I like your hair, or you look nice today, or anything that's a compliment is a good way to start a conversation. If someone complimented you, you would gain confidence that the person might be interested in you.

So instead of trying to overcome shyness, just stay shy. As I said before, it's not a bad quality. Basically if you are really outgoing naturally, then be natural. If you are shy naturally, stay shy. Everyone is different, and there is nothing wrong with it. So next time you see someone shy, don't think they lack confidence, it just means they have a natural instinct to be shy.

Dating Studies

In my last post, I wrote about "what women want" and discussed a study done about how women prefer men with average-status jobs, rather than men with high-status jobs. The first study was done in the UK, with 186 female college students, in a controlled experiment, and written about at BBC. Recently there was an article published in the New York Times about a study done at the University of Chicago.

The University of Chicago study was done using dating profiles sample from Boston and San Diego with an older age group of people. They used a formula and whether people response to your email. They don't know for sure the people go on a date or not. What bothered me most about the study at University of Chicago is that they claim there is a correlation between height and income. It's absurd. The study goes as far to say: "A 5-foot-8 man was just as successful in getting dates as a 6-footer if he made more money — precisely $146,000 a year more."

Do I care about what women want? No, I care about what woman I want. I don't care how many dates I go on, I just care about finding the right one. Success in dating is getting married and being happy. Not how many dates you go on. I'm 5'8 and I find a woman 5'1 attractive but it's more rare to find one. Personally, I'm not picky about height, but I can't speak for everyone. It's always going to be rare to find someone you can spend the rest of your life with. Do you have make $200,000 more money if you live in a small town, to be successful on dating site? If you live in a small town, you probably won't be able to find someone on a dating site, because too few people in small towns use dating sites.

About the money thing, are American women looking for guys with money? Does money not matter to UK women? What about if you are in college? From the first study, it shows anyone in college does not see income as important, and actually a burden. Most people want a better job, maybe they are contacting guys that have more money for this reason, and not because they want a date. I don't see money being important in dating at all.

What Women Really Want

New research suggests that women do not want successful men. Researchers at the University of Central Lancashire in England have found that men with high paying jobs are not as attractive to women. The research was published at the Personality and Individual Differences. In the study, the women looked at photo personals.

The researcher concluded that women think that successful guys won't be as good in long-term relationships, because they fear that other women will like successful men. But this research proves that's not true. The researcher may be right, however I have my own theory. I think women didn't choose the men with high-status jobs because they thought they were going to be boring. To be clear, the research indicates that your job has an influence on a first impression, for whatever the reason.

So, make first impressions count. Don't appear more than average. Women want attractive guys, but they don't want successful guys. I am not sure how women see attractiveness of a guy, but maybe with clothes. So dress nice, but forget the designer jeans. If they see you wearing something expensive, (they will know), and they may think you have a high-status job, and you don't want them to think that.

If you have a successful career title, instead of saying you are a doctor or a lawyer, say you are in legal field or the medical field. If you have a nice car, just so you can meet women, sell it, and buy something normal. So, whether you are average or not, don't try and be more than average, stay average and the odds are with you.

I need a date!

Ok, so it's the weekend, and all I can think about is how much I really need a date. So I plan to go out today and then tomorrow and hopefully my luck will change.

As I write this it's around 4:30PM and I plan to drink a beer in about 30 minutes. I think I need figure out what I'm going wear tonight because when I go out and don't care about what I wear, I never have good success.

Another note to myself, try and focus when I go out, don't get easily distracted. It's really easy to go out and start talking to someone that you have no interest in, just because you get pulled into a conversation. Remember try and focus on what's important. Women.

How many times have you gone out and blew your whole night, talking to some guy you went to school with, or such. Yes, it can be alright to talk to friends, but what's most important? Women.

I won't get distracted easily and I'll try focus on meeting a nice girl, not one that is crazy. Please, let me be lucky, just for once! Ohh, please.

Do I want or need a girlfriend?

If you ask a girl, they will most likely tell you they want a boyfriend, but don't need one. However, if you ask a guy, they will more than likely say they need a girlfriend, instead of want a girlfriend. A quick search at google confirms this:

279,000 pages for "i want a boyfriend"
52,300 pages for "i need a boyfriend"
23,000 pages for "i want a girlfriend"
47,800 pages for "i need a girlfriend"

About women, we can learn that women are more vocal than men in admitting they desire a relationship. Women being about 5X more likely to admit this. We can also see that women appear not to need a boyfriend, but simply want one. More than 5 times as many women 'want' and not 'need'.

About men, we can see they are far less vocal in admitting that they want or need a girlfriend. It also seems that it's more likely they appear to need one, instead of just want. More than 2 times as many 'need' and not 'want'.

Theories:
1) Men may actually need a girlfriend.
2) Women actually don't need, but want a boyfriend.
3) Women don't say "need" in fear of acting needy.
4) Men are more needy than women.
5) Guys may have trouble admitting that they want or need a relationship.
6) More women want relationships then men.

While men and women seem to express themselves differently, it's more than likely, and as the song goes, all we need is love.

451,000 pages for "i need love"

Global Warming Causing People Date Less

There's a growing trend amoungst singles that people aren't going on enough dates. After discussing this with several people, this trend seems to be occurring. We can blame it on global warming or perhaps technology, but this doesn't help.

We have look at all the factors and you can come up with your own theory. Distractions can definitely be a reason for dating less. When it comes down to it, it's about what is keeping us pre-occupied.

Back in the day, when there was nothing to distract us, no TV, no internet, no threat of global warming, people seemed to be more occupied with what is important. Sharing your life with people you care about.

Rather than complain that you aren't going on enough dates or have no dating life. There needs to be a solution. Not all people are in the same boat. For those people that have a great dating life, or married, no need to worry. We are addressing the people that lack dating in their lives. Say there is 50 million women and 50 million women that say they want more dates, then shouldn't it be easier for them to link up? You would think so.

So here are a 5 suggestions to improve your dating life.

1) Stop using the internet - Yes, I know it sounds drastic, but perhaps you should limit your time online to only a few hours a day. Why not try and spend some time with other humans at a coffee shop and read a book or something.

2) Stop being shy - When you go out, start saying hi to everybody. There's no reason to just go out and not talk to anybody. Have fun, isn't that why you went out in the first place?

3) Stop watching TV - Maybe you watch too much tv, nobody you see on tv you will ever date. You can keep dreaming, but the chances of dating someone off your tv, chances are very slim.

4) Admit you need somebody - Whether you are in class or where ever, say you need somebody. If you need a girlfriend, say it outload in class or where ever you may be. This will help realize what you need and perhaps someone will hear this, that is interested.

5) Go on a vacation - Everytime I go on a vacation, when I come back, I feel refreshed. It's that time of refreshing feeling that puts you in a good mood and happy you are home. You might meet someone on your trip, and when you come back, it's great way to start conversation, that you just got back from vacation.

Why You Don't Date Robots

If you ever wanted to know why it's a bad idea to date robots, here's your chance. Let's hope that in the future nobody creates robots that we can date. I don't know why anyone would want to date a robot anyway. I don't want to talk too much about this. However, with all the technology we have, we can't create a robot that thinks, feels, like we do as humans. Yes, we currently have no option to date robots, but this video is explains why nobody should ever date robots. It's very scientific and explains exactly why.



On a more serious note, technology has influences us - as we spend more time online and on the computer, it's always good to get away from the computer and spend time with real people. I'm not saying people online aren't real, it's just good to have real interaction with people, even if you do enjoy spending time online.

Many Reasons why Dating Sucks

As I listen to the tunes MTV is playing and look at the light above my table, I can't help but think about the past-time we call dating that we try so hard to achieve. If dating was so easy, there wouldn't be as many single people out there. Ok, stop, you may think to yourself that you want to stay single forever, well good for you. You do that, but most of us want to find someone that we can trust and be with, whether it's a girlfriend or something that we want to "marry". Some people will say to themselves that they will never want to get married, but there is a reason for this attitude. It's because dating sucks. It's hard work and it's hard to work it into our life. We try to work, we try to pay our bills, we try to do the little things that life requires, we have go get food and feed ourselves everyday. There are many reasons why being single and dating just sucks.

First of all dating sucks, because when you try, you get turned down. You say something nice and they think you are just trying to get in bed with them. They are lonely and you are lonely but they don't admit it, and have their friends to back up that claim. They don't seem to realize at that moment in time, that they will soon be by themselves again with their dog or cat again for the next consecutive month.

Let's say you find someone nice, and you go out with them, and you are spending time with them. You realize that there is a silence, well that's ok, if you are friends, but if you are just getting to know eachother you have think of something to say. So you start talking about your childhood or you talk about the hobbies that you enjoy, but they have no interest in them. Then you question, so what do you like to do? They say that they like to watch TV, or spend time at home, and you say, wow that sounds fun, but you don't know what say about TV, because what's to talk about TV? You think to yourself, what can I say to get myself back on track, but there is nothing.

You are at a bar, and you see a girl, and you go up and talk to her, and she starts talking to you for a minute, but then suddenly you gave her a bunch of confidence and she has left and and gone to talk to someone else. So you sit there at bar, and drink alone for a while hoping she'll come back, but she has already exchanged numbers with someone that has talked to her for 2 minutes, and now you don't want talk to her anymore, because you think it's unfair that you talked to her for like, 20 minutes, and now she is exchanging numbers with someone that she talked to for 2 minutes.

You are at starbucks, and sitting down, reading a book, and you glance over and start talking to a girl, and she seems interested, and you start a conversation. She enjoys the same things you do, and you enjoy the same things she does. You think you might have found the right person for you. You start talking about more intimate things, and you think you have found a great friendship. All of the sudden, her phone rings, and it's her boyfriend.

You are at a bar, and you see a nice girl comes up and flirts with you. You get along great and you have a wonderful conversation. You think you two are great for eachother. She starts telling you things about herself you wouldn't expect, you talk back and tell her things about yourself. She really likes you. You really like her. You are getting along great. You aren't the type of person to rush and ask for her phone number, because things are going so great already. Then one of her friends, maybe jealous friends, comes up and says that she and the rest of their friends are leaving and going to another bar, and they have leave now. So now you are all alone, and she's gone, and she feels pressured to leave with them. She mentions that she will see you again, but you know it's a big city, and that probably won't happen. So there you are again by yourself.

Here we go again, we are out someplace, and feel like we've struckout so many times, barely hanging in there, and a girl comes up to you. You seem to have no interest, because of all the other times. So you try and pretend that you are ok, and that you are happy that she's talking to you. She realizes that you are not happy, and starts asking what's wrong. Then you start complaining about how complicated dating is, because that's what's on your mind. At first she liked you, now she doesn't like you anymore because she thinks you complain too much. So she leaves you and says have a nice night.

I'm sure it's just as difficult for women to find a nice man, as it is for a guy to find a nice woman. It's just the most complicated subject ever. If you don't agree, then you better help me, because I think dating is the most complicated thing I've ever tried. I "think" I'm smart, and I think I can try and figure it out, but I've figured out that it just plain sucks. Dating sucks. So instead of this 'stop global warming' maybe we can try and say "stop these dating games" and let's try and all get along. The hippies had it right. Peace and love. Maybe we just need love eachother more.